Remembering and reflecting on those gone before us
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COLUMN: Food for Thought by James Currall
In some parts of the Christian church, the first couple of weeks of November are what we call the Season of Remembrance. It starts on All Saints Day on November 1. In the past it was generally known as All Hallows Day and the celebrations started on the evening of the day before – All Hallows Eve, which is now widely observed throughout much of the world as Halloween.
The season continues on November 2 with All Souls Day, when the living remember and sometimes pray for the dead, especially those they love but see no more. Around the world there are many traditions associated with this day. In North America for example, many say prayers or light candles for the departed. In parts of Latin America, families visit the graves of their ancestors and sometimes leave food offerings for the departed. The Mexican traditions surrounding this day are probably the most widely known. They celebrate the day as “El Dia de Los Muertos” (“The Day of the Dead”) when families traditionally visit graveyards and have a picnic and leave food out for their dead relatives on their journey to heaven.
In our church, we have a special service in the evening, at the end of which we read out a list of names of the friends, relatives and members of our congregations who have died. Many of us find this time to remember and reflect on the lives of those who have gone before us, and shaped the people that we are today, a very moving experience.
The season continues with Armistice Day, which is today, November 11. In some places there are ceremonies at war memorials and people may keep a two-minute silence at home or at work. The season concludes with services at war memorials and in churches on Remembrance Day.
Now some people might think that all this time spent on remembrance is a little strange, but as I have found over the years when engaging with people who are going through the pain of the grief, not doing so isn’t particularly helpful and can leave lasting regrets.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian who opposed the Nazis and paid for it with his life wrote the following to friends from his prison cell on Christmas Eve 1943 – perhaps preparing them for his come death:
“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it.
“At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent that the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve — even in pain — the authentic relationship.
“Furthermore, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”
Wise words indeed and equally applicable whether or not you’re a believer in God or an atheist.
Rev Canon James Currall is the Episcopal priest in charge of congregations at Tain, Brora, Lairg and Tongue.
