OBITUARY: Norma Mackay, Helmsdale
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Norma Christina Grigor was born in Inverness on July 12, 1930. She was the second child of Sandy and Chrissie Grigor, being just a year younger than her brother Bill.
When she was six years old, the family moved north to Sutherland after purchasing the Belgrave Hotel and Norma had many happy memories of her childhood days in Helmsdale where she and Bill got into quite a bit of mischief together.
On the outbreak of war in 1939, life changed with the arrival of troops in Helmsdale, and with the officers being stationed in the Belgrave Hotel.
Long afterwards she wrote an account of her memories of those days - of the fear of invasion from the north, of the "Hitler Wanted" posters on the telegraph poles in Dunrobin Street and the dread that he might be hiding under her bed. And also her father hiding the cables for a radio transmitter in the rose trellis in the garden.
She recalled the hotel feeding the survivors of the Royal Oak disaster at Scapa Flow and also the cook refusing to give anything to German spies who had been captured in the harbour and were being held in the Belgrave before being transported to London.
Her mother cooked for them nevertheless - the same kindness she herself would have shown to anyone, friend or foe.
In spite of the impact of war, her childhood days were days of freedom and fun.
They say it takes a village to raise a child and those early years in Helmsdale contributed massively to Norma’s whole life.
After completing primary education, Norma went to board at Craigmount School, which had been evacuated from Edinburgh to Scone Palace, near Perth, for the duration of the war. There she made friends with whom she kept in touch all their lives.
She had many stories of her school days in Scone, usually involving mischief of one kind or another.
As growing girls on wartime rations, they were always hungry and would raid a nearby orchard for apples which they hid inside the gas masks they carried everywhere.
She enjoyed sports and was a keen netball and tennis player. On one occasion, Norma was chosen to scale a drainpipe at the castle and climb in the window of the sick bay to find out how one of her friends who had become unwell was doing. When she reached the girl’s bed she discovered her dead.
That experience affected her profoundly and, although she was so young herself, she began a correspondence with the deceased child’s mother which she kept up for many years and was doubtless a great comfort to the bereaved parent and an evidence of Norma’s kind and sympathetic heart.
After leaving school, Norma progressed to the College of Domestic Science in Glasgow, popularly known as "the dough school". Once again, she established lifelong friendships with some of the other girls there.
It was while she was in Glasgow that Norma met Crawford Wregg who was training in hotel management. They married in 1954 and three children followed, Fiona, Jamie and Sandy.
Sadly the marriage did not work out and Norma and her three small children returned to Helmsdale where they lived in Bannockburn House on Lillieshall Street.
By this time, Norma’s parents had also taken on the Bridge Hotel and Norma was employed in their shop next door while also working hard to make a lovely home and garden for her children.
Friends frequently called to the house and Jim Reeves or The Seekers was often on the record player.
Norma loved music and became involved in local activities including Bothy Ballads which her future husband, Donnie Mackay, was also involved in.
They married on December 14, 1966, in Dingwall and the family moved up the Strath to Suisgill Estate where Donnie was the gamekeeper. With the arrival of baby Kirsteen, the family was complete.
Norma was a great cook and worked for a few years at Suisgill Lodge.
There was an endless supply of baking, the freezer was always full of food and they all lived like lords when the power went off for weeks in the blizzards of 1978 and everything had to be eaten.
Donnie kept a few cows which provided milk and butter, they grew their own vegetables and many blackcurrants which had to be picked in defiance of the clouds of Suisgill midges.
There were always visitors to the house and a welcome cup of tea and cake was ever on offer. Pupils came to learn the pipes with Donnie while Norma entertained the parents in her customary fashion.
When Norma’s mother passed away in 1979, her father moved from Helmsdale to live with the family in the Strath. Through reading the Bible to him, Norma came to Christian faith and, from that time onwards, both she and Donnie became very active in Bunillidh Church and made many lasting friendships both locally and around the world.
Norma was a great correspondent and wrote faithfully to her many friends at home and abroad.
To celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, the family treated them to a trip to Canada where they met up with old acquaintances and visited Kildonan church near Winnipeg which had been built by the descendants of folk "cleared" from the strath during the 19th century.
After Jamie settled in Thailand, they visited him and his wife S’no there too. Who could forget the photo of Norma on the back of a very big elephant!
Donnie and Norma were delighted when their first granddaughter, Angela, was born in Aberdeen. Later, Alexander arrived, in Thailand. Norma, granny’s namesake, and Sean and Arran all came along after Norma had been widowed and brought her much happiness.
Needless to say, life had its sorrows as well as its joys. Donnie died in March 2005 after a short illness, leaving Norma bereft. She knew he was safe and at peace but she missed him terribly. Nevertheless, for 17 years she carried on without him.
The years passed and, inevitably the time came when Norma needed to be nearer to family.
Consequently, in August 2016, she moved to Inverness to live with Kirsteen, Sean and Arran.
She was very sad to leave her neighbours and many dear friends, especially in the church in Helmsdale, but she took the opportunity to become involved in the East Church in Inverness where old acquaintances were renewed and new bonds forged.
After a series of falls, and as her dementia progressed, it became apparent that she needed a greater level of care than was possible at home.
The family were so pleased to find a place for her in Whinnieknowe Care Home in Nairn where she was very happy and contented. The staff there loved her and treated her with great tenderness right until the end of her life.
Norma was a good, gracious and generous mother, granny, wife and friend to many.
Above all she was grateful, grateful for life, for the beauty around her, for her family and friends and for every act of kindness ever shown to her.
Many people claim to have faith or belief but, overwhelmingly, Norma had a trust that never wavered.
She had been a Sunday School teacher for many years and the children’s hymn, "Jesus loves me”, was very precious to her, especially in the final days of her life.
She wanted it sung to her and, although she could no longer speak, mouthed the words of the last verse, "He will stay, close beside me all the way", with great emphasis on that word "all". Of that she had not even a shadow of doubt.
