CHRISTIAN VIEWPOINT: ‘I suffered trauma as a result of Christian beliefs’
In recent decades, churches and religious organisations have come to realise that, tragically, some people have been wounded in Christian environments - through abuse, or manipulative leadership. What I believe is especially hard for churches to acknowledge however, is that some people have suffered trauma as a result of Christian beliefs, or the way they have been taught.
This was my experience. As a teenager and young man I was terrified that I would be ‘left behind’ when Christ returned. I was troubled by the silence of heaven when I tried to ‘give my heart to Jesus’. Later, when I had come to personal faith, the fact that my emotions and experiences of faith and prayer did not match what was depicted to me as ‘normal’ in the Christian life underlined my sense of being an outsider.
People from other traditions bear different wounds as a result, for example, of teaching on predestination and hell.
Many of the kids I grew up among in church were unscathed, and went on to live healthy and balanced Christian lives, or else chose to leave the faith. Why are some of us so negatively affected?
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In my case a combination of genetic factors and a sense of insecurity in my very early years are probably what made me susceptible to trauma. But it happened. It was not my fault. It was not an issue of unbelief or disobedience to God.
The impact on my life was massive - and I do not exaggerate: years of angst, struggle and fear, feeling myself always on the outside. We think of PTSD as the result of single traumatic events, but relentless ongoing trauma can have the same effect, reverberating through peoples lives as complex PTSD.
The internet enables us to understand the extent of this issue. I am grieved by the hurt people describe. I am grieved to see some abandoning faith because of what they have been through. I am grieved by the apparent reluctance of Christian churches to acknowledge the problem.
I call on churches to go gently, go lovingly in the way you share what really is Good News, so that the manner of your sharing does not wound, so that people are drawn to Jesus and his gospel of freedom, forgiveness and joy.
The wonderful reality of this gospel is real to me, at least on my clearer-seeing days. But those of us with long-term trauma are still ‘healing’ rather than ‘healed’, still triggered at times by old memories.
Please do not consider us weaker or frailer than others. We have thought and felt deeply, we have passed through dark valleys of the soul, we have come to glimpse the love of Christ for us. We bring to the Christian community rich treasure.